I think it's conventionally accepted that the 2000 movie The Beach, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, is a waste of two hours. Conjunctivitis is likely better for the eyes.
However, Maya Beach, where it was filmed, makes it resoundingly clear why producers pushed for the project. We're up at 8am and board and longboat with a dozen French and British tourists. The plan is an island tour of Koh Phi Phi Don (where we're staying), Bamboo Island, and the uninhabited Koh Phi Phi Leh, which captivated Hollywood, but not audiences, a decade ago.
The boat is a rough, wet ride and we're packed like sardines with our guide/driver who speaks no English, yet screams at us a great deal in Thai.
At the first of ten stops between the three islands, chain gangs of thousands of convict fish surround us, so all we can see are their yellow and black pinstriped uniforms.
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Lunch is in 100 degree weather on the tiny Bamboo Island, where we swim in pistachio-colored waters next to Japanese tourists wearing lifejackets despite the 4 ft. depth.
Back on the boat, our nonsensical driver decides we might like some more sunlight, so he cuts off the longboat's tarp roof, which garners easier sunburns and a welcome invitation for every wave to give us a slap in the face.
We make it to Koh Phi Phi Ley thirty minutes later and pass by the Viking Cave, where hundreds of swiftlet birds make their nests. Prized in China and Japan for their sumptuous taste when made into soup, harvested swiftlet nests trade for a whopping $2,000/kilogram. Thus, local Thais have decked out the enormous cave in flimsy bamboo scaffolding and risk death to collect the nests from the cave ceilings. The swiftlet nests are made out of the birds' saliva, meaning the Asian delicacy of Bird's Nest Soup must be slightly reminiscent to French kissing a Thai cave bird (first image mine, remaining Google).
There's more snorkeling in Pileh, a cove of turquoise waters surrounded by tall, moss-covered limestone cliffs that look straight out of Lord of the Rings. More convict fish are in correctional facilities below us in addition to banner fish, wrasses, angel fish, and butterfly fish.
We dock with dozens of other longboats on the Western side of the island to see Maya Bay. To see the prized beach, one needs to swim through choppy waters, navigate up a rickety rope climb and walk through the forest. Sadly I can't bring my camera (should've bought a waterproof one in the states). It's great fun to watch the non-swim-trained older tourists try to make it to the rope climb via bright green kayaks, paddled by Thai helpers. Most kayaks capsize in the choppy waters, leaving them stranded in the water frantically trying to get back on board. They are really are hilarious these tourists -- choosing to visit an aquatic tourist attraction with the swimming ability of housecats. It would be like me choosing to go to a basketball dunking attraction. I find the rope climb to be thrilling, like traversing a pirate ship's mast during a monsoon. Especially since many of my neighbors are thrown backwards or lunged into nearby rock walls. It's as if the gods of Maya Bay have intentionally made it difficult for visitors to reach its ivory shores, only granting acceptance to those who are truly worthy. Or at least those that can swim.
Maya Bay is spectacular (pictures from Google): A small white sand beach gives way to emerald waters, in a circular lagoon flanked by tall cliffs. Filming here for four months most have been really arduous work. The weather is perfect and we spend an hour swimming in the clear water and relaxing on the pillow soft sand.
On our way back to Long Beach, we stop by Monkey Beach, which is filled with tourists yet sorely lacking in primates.
As the sun goes down, I nosh on sauteed red snapper with ginger, carrots, bok choy, and scallions. The evening's snacks include wonderfully crispy and greasy banana crepes covered in sweetened condensed milk and fried bananas with ice cream. The night is finished at "Hippie Bar", where we toast with Chang as teenage boys twirl fire sticks at Formula1 speed and Jimi plays.
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| Dinner with a view |
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