Following one night of crowded chaos with another, I wake up on Sunday and head to Chatuchak Market, one of the world's largest open air shopping centers. Due to a pulsing hangover, this decision would typically be described as masochistic. Hot, sweaty, loud, furiously jam-packed, Chatuchak (or "JJ" as the locals call it) is pure sensory overload. Hawkers scream and pull at passerbys, everyone is bargaining up a storm, the market is an utter labyrinth of alley ways, with shops crushed together like sardines under tarp roofs. The smells of chilis, fish cakes, skewered squid, and banana pancakes fill my nose. Some tourists have maps, but that's like trying to read an ancient scroll of hieroglyphics. JJ is a seemingly endless, maddeningly confusing array of clothes, furniture, pirated DVDs, silk textiles, artwork, rugs, kitchen supplies, fine china.
It takes the mustachioed man nearly ten minutes as he meticulously brews my coffee, cools it down through an intricate process of stirring and transferring the liquid between two cups, and finally adding the condensed milk. It is worth the wait and helps make the hangover more manageable.
I had wanted to bring a backup pair of prescription glasses to Asia in case I lost my main pair. Time got away from me and I never picked up new frames, despite a promising lead during a six hour bus layover in Wilmington, DE. Since I had so much time on my hands, I thought it would be a good idea to read in the park. Unfortunately, I was inundated with beggars who swarmed me like wasps on a summer popsicle. One shirtless bearded fellow continued to ask me how much my phone cost, sit directly in front of and squash my lunch bag, and when I finally got up to leave, looked me dead in the eye and scolded, "sit your ass down, boy." Another, with nearly closed, glazed-over eyes, practiced karate moves in the center of the park and made his own loud "high-ya" movie sound effects. Needless to say, I left the park and found myself at a fantastic eyeglass store, in which I was the only customer. Much to the chagrin of the proprietors, I tried on nearly every pair, used all their tissues to share a bit of myself, and then didn't buy anything. But I was 90% there.
Anyways, so I was definitely in the market for new glasses. Fortunately, JJ had several stalls selling pre-fabricated prescription glasses in every single vision level. I picked up a pair of stylish ones of 160B ($5).
The food at JJ is boundless and fantastic. I nosh on shrimp and pork dumplings; fresh, bright tofu summer rolls; and buttery sweet grilled scallops on the half shell with chilis, fried onions, and scallions.
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| We've got your bugs here! |
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| Making Som Tom |
For me, the highlight of JJ is definitely the animal station, quite possibly the largest pet store I've even been to, and certainly the most illegal. The whole section is cramped, loud, and smells like a litterbox. Animals run amok -- on vendors heads and shoulders, leashed on top of cages so Thais can get a free sample of the goods before purchasing. The sounds are a combination of howling dogs, clucking chickens, squealing rodents, and screaming vendors. As I didn't have time for my rabies vaccines, I'm keeping my distance.
It is hard to keep track, but I see the following animals for sale. It's too bad the trip is early, because I know one Anna Horowitz who would love a hedgehog.
- Every imaginable dog breed -- chihuahua, beagle, husky, pug, golden retriever, lab, rot weiler -- most only weeks old
- Every imaginable cat breed
- Every imaginable type of fish - including cat fish, sharks, you name it
- Rare coral and reef plant life
- Mice, rats
- Guinea pigs in their Sunday's finest with pretty red bows in their hair
- Geckos, chameleons, 4 ft long iguanas, anole lizards, various desert reptiles
- Snakes -- venemous pythons, water snakes
- Scorpions
- Rhinoceros beetles and other insects
- Hermit crabs
- Large and small squirrels in every color, many being walked on leashes by small children
- Flying squirrels and sugar gliders
- Hedgehogs
- Desert field mice
- Giant macaws
- Giant cockatoos
- Toucans
- Chickens, ducks, geese, swans, turkeys
If one prefers his animals of a more combative variety, not to worry, Chatuchak is here to help. Go far enough down a dark, crowded market alleyway, and one is certain to find a rousing bout of cockfighting. Dozens of men and boys surround the cement ring, where two large roosters sprint in circles, peck at one other, jump on each other's heads, practice their Muay Thai moves, cluck loudly and furiously flap their wings. The men laugh, scream, cheer for their favorite cock, and throw money. When the match ends, both chickens are removed and everyone disperses, as if nothing happened.
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