Nah Trang, Vietnam, 7/31/11
The night didn't end well for Mary. Although we all finished the night partying and drinking on the beach, most of us headed home around 3am. Mary, however, left herself (spread) wide open with a new male friend. After passing out on the beach, she woke up to find herself robbed of her iPhone, camera, and money. Add those to her loss of inhibition as the vodka masked the fact that the beach was still full of revelers when she was playing in the sand.
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Vin Pearl Land makes Rye Playland seem like Disney World. The tiny park is deserted, overpriced, and, frankly, horrifying. We walk through the empty streets, passing by carnival games that no one is playing, cotton candy machines that might as well not be turned on, souvenir shops gathering cob webs. I'm convinced that at any given moment zombies are going to pop out from behind the bushes and attempt to eat our flesh.
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| From Google |
In addition to the utter peril of the fast-approaching zombie apocalypse, Vin Pearl's rides aren't much better. The roller coaster lasts roughly twelve seconds. Another ride holds passengers in a completely inverted state, floating parallel to the ground yet fifty feet up. The other riders and I remain in that state for three whole minutes until our faces resemble eggplants. Plus its safety belt is awkwardly loose and we move about the car thinking about our sins. Fortunately, the classic swing ride is quite fun; the state fair mainstay has been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. But its entertainment value doesn't give Vin Pearl any extra points as the swing ride is one of the most consistently fun attractions on the face of the planet and I'm sure it would still put a smile on my face if I rode it in Hell.
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| From Google |
Despite its shortcomings, Vin Pearl Land has a wonderfully scenic cable car ride. Supposedly the longest in Vietnam. After a crazy night, we're up early riding it to the small island that houses the amusement park. As we near our destination, a large sign announcing the park's name comes into view. Reading "VinPearl" in large white wooden letters and nestled in the forest on top of the island, it's a near identical homage (rip off?) of the famed Hollywood sign. Although the park is only twenty minutes from our hotel and involves getting soaked on water slides, Harriet and Becky insist on full makeup and hair extensions. Only to laboriously take them off in the locker rooms upon entering the park. Someone should tell these girls that there is no bouncer nor velvet rope to get into Vin Pearl Land. They would probably let in a passel of underage rabid opossums.
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| Source: Google |
That said, Vin Pearl's water park is quite entertaining. We spend several hours racing down colorful water slides, wading through lazy rivers, tubing over aquatic half pipes, screaming through group flume rides, getting flushed down giant toilets, and sliding down pitch black tube slides dotted with neon and strobe lights.
Our final stop is at Vin Pearl's aquarium, which features a giant tank filled with sharks, manta rays, and large schools of tropical fish. Visitors wade through the water on a motorized path and are rewarded with 360-degrees views of the ocean life around them. Several manta rays, the size of coffee tables, come right up to the walls and plant small kisses on the glass as their way of saying salutations. The female staff of the aquarium is oddly dressed up like mermaids, walking around in silver tiaras and carrying rose bouquets. It seems as if they just returned from the mermaid debutante.
We leave the Vin Pearl Land wet, smiling widely, and thankfully free of Zombie infections. They must have Thursdays off.
Note: Several images from Google
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