Last Day & Night in Southeast Asia

Bangkok, Thailand, 8/8/11

After the hassle of trying to get out Cambodia, I arrive in Bangkok around noon. I'm groggy, sweaty, my muscles contorted into several unnatural positions after the uncomfortable bus ride. My discomfort is quickly remedied by my fourth and final meal at May Kaidee, in a celebration of the spectacular vegetarian restaurant's greatest hits. I'm joined by the Brigade of British Blondes, Harriet, Becky, and Lauren, and together we share May's bright, crunchy fresh spring rolls with sweet crushed peanut sauce and thick, rich Massaman Curry with tofu and brown rice. Dessert is their perfect purple sticky rice with mango, banana, and sesame seeds. May Kaidee still ranks as one of the best meals of my whole trip, the best being the revelatory first meal I had there with Tata and Lexi in the pouring rain a month prior.

Shaken, not Stirred

The Brits and I tour town and we say our final goodbyes, after which I quickly head over to meet Jen. She lives in a high-rise apartment building, whose penthouse roof deck offers stunning views of Bangkok. Jen and I take in the capital city's skyline as the sun sets, while we swim in the rooftop pool and drink Chang's. Jen's apartment where I'm staying for my final night is a palatial two bedroom abode, which came fully furnished and looks like a demo house at Crate and Barrel. The apartment has a huge, ultra-modern eat-in kitchen, hard-wood floors, floor-to-ceiling windows, with two bedrooms and bathrooms. In New York City, it would sleep seventeen; in Bangkok it's a fifth of the price and sleeps one. We reunite with fellow Treehouse Seven member Teresa for a terrific meal of Thai tapas and bespoke cocktails at Soul Food, a year-old restaurant run by an American ex-pat and former food writer. The sleek bi-level space is designed in shades of brown and beige with light wooden paneling with matching tables, chairs, and banquettes. Mood lighting is set by hanging triangular green lamps that resemble those in Grisham movies casting shadows over studious associates pouring over case histories at law libraries. The restaurant's motto is "Wholesome Ingredients. Honest Cooking. Serious Drinks" and has a mission to take classic Thai street food and elevate it in a more comfortable, modern setting. After two months of drinking beer, fruit smoothies, and cheap cocktails out of sand buckets, Soul Food's wine and cocktail list catches me instantly. Drinks are expensive at $6, but they're revelations compared to rubbing alcohol-like concoctions I have been used to drinking. Soul Food's riff on the Old Fashioned is made with bourbon, cranberry juice, Thai basil, and ginger. It's brings an herbal and spicy kick to the classic cocktail; Kentucky by way of Southeast Asia. In my humble opinion, high-quality gin and cucumber are ideal bedfellows; as perfect a match as peanut butter and jelly or Jimmy Page and Robert Plant. Soul Food amplifies the combo with passion fruit, lime, pineapple, and a splash of ginger ale, taking the classic gin enhancer on a trip to the Southern Thai islands. We eat like kings, ordering as many tapas as we can handle: We start with Sriracha chicken wings with pickled ginger and Thai samosas with yogurt dip. Mieng Kham -- lettuce wraps with sweet, tender grilled pork jowl (cheek), with tamarind jam, and an assortment of toppings including peanuts, ginger, chilies, and shallots. Yam Hua Plee is a salad of shredded banana flower tossed with basil, mint, red onion, chilies, and grilled chicken in a spicy coconut dressing. Larb (also known as "laap"), the classic Laotian dish of minced meat tossed with fresh herbs, chilies, and citrus. At Soul Food, the traditional fish is substituted for smoked duck, adding another layer of flavor to a salad that is already spicy, crunchy, and sweet.  Tamarind ribs fall off the bone, covered in a thick pineapple chutney. The meal is the most expensive I've had in two months of traveling at $30 with tip, but I always feel it is important to have fireworks at the end of the celebration. And do we ever, as the small plates are so covered in dried and sauteed chilies, I can feel every millimeter of my nasal passages.

From Google

Mieng Kham

Smoked Duck Larb and 

A View to a Kill

Post-meal, we toast our amazing experiences together and our final night, in style, at Sirocco, Bangkok's tallest roof top bar. Located on the 63rd floor of the Lebua at State Tower Hotel, the destination is actually home to the world's tallest al fresco restaurant. The bar offers breathtaking views of the city including the Chao Phraya river, and due to its glass walls, almost seems as if it is floating in air. The bar itself, is a neon glass circle on the roof's edge, constantly changing colors, almost resembling a UFO, where dapper bartenders shake up wide arrays of ludicrously expensive (for Thailand) martinis including one infused with lime and rosemary and another named after the Hangover II which was filmed at the roof deck. The focal point of the deck is the Sirocco's gold-topped "Dome", which looks like a cross between DC's Jefferson Memorial and Jerusalem's Dome of the Rock, and is home to six fine dining restaurants and cigar lounges. A live jazz band plays standards while well-dressed tourists toast martinis and hope they don't fall off the edge, the result of which would surely kill a small family or cause a tuk-tuk to explode. After two months of non-working toilets, solitary confinement-like hotel rooms, cold showers, sitting on buses next to chickens, leech infestations, and rabid monkey attacks, it's quite refreshing to see the other side of Southeast Asian travel. Sitting on top of the world, with a martini in one hand and two beautiful friends in the other, overlooking Bangkok for as far as the eye can see in a roof deck that resembles ancient Rome, the whole experience feels like a fantasy. Much like my two month experience which is coming to its very end, it feels like an vivid dream. And I don't want to wake up.

From Google

From Google

From Google

From Google

From Google

The Vagina Monologues

We spend the evening exploring Thailand until the wee hours. Final stop is Soi Cowboy, meaning "Cowboy Street" -- a small alleyway lined with strip clubs, bars, and cabarets. Cowboy is one of Bangkok's infamous red light districts although it is located in the upscale Sukhumvit area, which is also home to some of the capital's poshest hotels and restaurants. The area is named after T. G. "Cowboy" Edwards, a retired American pilot who opened one of the first bars there in 1977 (source). Hidden off a busy intersection and, although only 1/4 mile long, the street has around forty bars. The strip is laden with colorful, loud florescent signs, which shine so bright it almost feels like daytime. Although I've never been, the strip reminds me of Las Vegas. Especially given the seediness of the bars and the clientele, and the fact that young, barely-clothed women stand outside, beckoning tourists to enter and holding up signs advertising drink specials. Soi Cowboy is home to Thailand's notorious "Ping-Pong Shows," the content of which will not be repeated in these (web) pages. But to quote my guidebook, women of the ping-pong shows "do everything with their vaginas other than have babies." Like a grade school child's birthday party at a local ice cream shoppe, these shows are often decorated with brightly colored balloons. Unlike those juvenile celebrations, however,  in the neon rainbow underbelly of Bangkok's red light district, around 2am, the inflatables are joined by dart guns. There's still soda, but someone has a peculiar way of drinking it. And High School Musical's soundtrack isn't playing, but someone is a virtuoso on the trumpet.